So today I found myself laughing maniacally when a little news flash popped up across my Facebook feed on my phone.
This is what I saw.
On it’s surface it seems logical to recall dangerous goods. I clicked on wondering what I was going find, maybe its something with thousands of complicated tiny parts that snap off, maybe its a toy made of asbestos. If you guess anything remotely like those, you (and I) were so far off the mark.
This is what was recalled:
For those reading and stuck wondering what the hell is this thing because I don’t have kids and this doesn’t look like a fun toy anyway. This is a “Hatch and Grow” egg. You dunk it in a bowl of watch and watch and watch and watch in amazement as a little hard sponge creature emerges from the egg over about 40 hours(or at least that’s what it feels like), riveting! Now that you have a basic understanding on what this is, prepare to have your minds blown. Concerned “do gooders” and “anti-fun activists” are recalling this seeming harmless products from shelves, why?
Because kids in America might mistake this ‘Fist‘ sized pink egg as their nutritious daily intake of plastic and somehow swallow it. Did I mention its the size of a kids fist? How the hell are you swallowing this.
What kind of household are you running citizens of the US? You can afford “hatch and grow eggs” but not food? Your kids are so hungry they’re eating their toys!
But I suppose this latest recall from the Anti-fun police should not come as any surprise, after all we are talking about the same country who is fine selling guns to kids but will not budge on allowing kinder surprises in their borders.
Back to the dangers of the swelling egg. According to the consumer product safety commission if this egg ‘somehow’ is ingested by your child, once more only god knows how because these things are huge it will cause some damage. The toy will swell to what I can find, around 600% in size, this obviously will cause some internal damage, were talking severe discomfort, vomiting and dehydration. Surgery is the only way to remove them they will not become poop.
Now I’m pretty sure this happened last year, but I think it’s still relevant since easter is almost here again, also it’s just sad and a bit funny. When I was a kid we threw clumps of dirt at each other for fun. We would play with discarded shopping trollies and push each other around until it fell over and someone was crying. We would smack each other with sticks pretending they were swords. What happened to the world since then to think we need to protect children from eating their own toys.
I would love to hear from anyone in the comments who knows of anyone actually ingesting one of these or even know of anyone who has done it.